Lost: motivation
Oct. 27th, 2003 03:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Lost: motivation
It seems to have disappeared right out from under my nose! What's going on here? How about all that grad school stuff? What about my hum reading? This is the first time in a really long time that I've been thinking "I want to go practice" instead of "I need to do homework." The problem is that I've played sooooo much violin the past few days, and it's not over yet because I have a recital Thursday.
I miss playing every day. I need to get back in the loop and practice more.
What made it possible for me to practice a lot in addition to our concerts? One simple thing: THEOCOMP IS DONE. Thanks to Aja and Erika, Theocomp's ass has been kicked and I'm free of it until Thursday. However, my hum reading is very much not done. I read one of the seven articles we've been assigned for Wednesday.
Still haven't finished getting my act together about grad schools. I have a list of schools now -- what am I waiting for? I need to finish my personal statement but that's about it. I need to finish a *draft* of my personal statement. Hmmmm. Also need to finish taking the practice GRE.
I feel like I'd rather take that practice GRE now than do hum reading. However, the hum reading is due Wednesday and the GRE isn't.
Okay, I think I found the problem -- I want to go *outside* to do work, not sit here alone in my room. I like doing hum reading with people around. However, while outside today is much better, it's still pretty nasty and smoky out there.
I've been feeling really unpopular lately. Nobody ever comes to visit me -- I'm always going to visit other people if I want to talk. I wonder if this is actually the case or if I'm just tripping here. I really feel uncomfortable with one-sided friendships. At least I have the comfort of knowing that Ben is always there for me.
In other news, Saint-Saens is coming along nicely and I'll be playing it at a student recital in November (to force me to learn it completely far before the big concert in March). The Tzigane is also coming along REALLY well, and I almost wish I was going to do it instead of Saint-Saens with orchestra. I really am enjoying this piece, though it did take a while to grow on me. I finally have a good concept of the melody even though it's kind of hidden under everything else.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-27 03:40 pm (UTC)I visit you every time I'm in the area... Not that that helps much. Well, I'm going to guess that a lot of people just don't visit others due to laziness. If people got more into the habit of just showing up at other people's doors, I'm sure you would get visited more often.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-27 06:40 pm (UTC)