paperclippy: (Default)
paperclippy ([personal profile] paperclippy) wrote2009-10-21 01:20 pm
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WTF are they talking about (AKA I'm sick of marketing slang)

From the website of a product I was researching:

With MKS Integrity we offer a complete range of ALM competence. This competence, delivered coherently from a single platform, allows MKS to deliver solutions that can transform software development and delivery. Competence and coherence are essential prerequisites for the adaptability needed to achieve Intelligent ALM and truly solve the business problems of enterprises that must deliver increasing volumes of complex and critical software.


How do you offer a range of competence? Does that mean I can buy the competent solution, the semi-competent solution, or the incompetent solution? How is competence coherent? WTF does that even MEAN? Competence and coherence are essential prerequisites for adaptability? First of all, I didn't know there was such a thing as a prerequisite which was NOT essential. Second of all, what? I like how intelligent is randomly capitalized too. I would love for them to solve my business problems, but I don't understand how competence and coherence do that.

Seriously people. WTF. I think I need to start a new blog of failed marketing.

[identity profile] etiphany.livejournal.com 2009-10-23 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
It should be a federal offense to use "delivered," "deliver," and "delivery" in the same sentence.

[identity profile] paperclippy.livejournal.com 2009-10-23 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
YES. omg.